Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
