so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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