he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
