I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
