garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
