Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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