guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
