Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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