I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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