Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
