Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
