you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
tonight lets celebrate not being married
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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