who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
