He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
