she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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