shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
my sisters under your porch take her home
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
