I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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