I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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