last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
