I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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