Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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