i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
