Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Too much gin, very little bucket
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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