so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
