I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
