I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
