Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize