just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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