i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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