i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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