I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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