she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
