she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
