i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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