I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
