i think i have two assholes
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
