my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
