Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i need some magic done to my vagina
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize