my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
you never un-have a 4some
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
