i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He did a backflip because drugs
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize