Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
