I can text with my tongue
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
