Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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