I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
