My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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