absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Randomize
