i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
