hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
