I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
