One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
