So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize