It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
