i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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