I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
