Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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